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Happy June 9th

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As of today it has been fifteen years since the day I was adopted!

If I could go back and do it all over again even with all of the struggles we have had over the years I wouldn’t change a single thing.  I absolutely adore my family and could not have been more blessed than what I have been.

As a family we have celebrated this day every year. And I always look forward to this day.

It’s like having an extra holiday in the year.

 

If your curious about my story you can read it here on my blog! It’s split up into three parts.

 

To read the first part click here 

To read the second part click here

To read the third part click here

 

Also your welcome to ask any questions in the comments and I will answer them in a blog post!

Don’t be shy I’m an open book.

Adopted Three Times (Part 3)

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If you haven’t read part 2 read it here https://britkirkblog.wordpress.com/2014/02/11/adopted-three-times-part-2/

Not long after my adoption my beloved mammy passed away. I remember the morning my mom and dad woke me up very gently to give me the news. I was crushed! I cried harder that day than I have ever cried before. I’d like to believe she had hung on just for me; she was maybe waiting for me to get settled and happy with my loving new family. She may have no longer physically been there with me, but she would always live in my memories and current thoughts.

Church became a constant in my life.

My dad was a preacher; I was there all the time even when it wasn’t Sunday. I even had this beach chair that I could unfold and take a nap on if I got tired. I covered up with a beach towel too! I always thought this was pretty cool of my dad to set up for me even if I woke up with imprints of the beach chair on the side of my face. These things were always stored somewhere in his office at the church.

I was placed in a Sunday school class at the church my dad preached at. The class I was placed in was actually a class that my mom taught. I never actually spoke up, but I did a lot of listening.

I heard…

God created all things. Even me!

He loves us so much even though we have sinned against Him.

If we listen carefully we can hear God’s small still voice.

God is our heavenly father.

God sent his son to die on the cross to save us from our sins.

The Meaning of the ABCs. Admit, Believe and confess!

The bible isn’t just a book sitting on a bookshelf.

All sorts of bible stories.

Everything I heard I would wonder about and at some point I would work up the courage to ask my dad about my questions. He seemed to know what he was talking about. So I decided that he was the best person to ask all my questions to. My parents both had something that I couldn’t seem to touch no matter how good I was. This was something I had never seen with any of the people I had come into contact with over the years. Slowly over time I began to understand the things that I had heard in my Sunday school class.

I understood…

God created everything by speaking it into being. However, he formed me! (hands on experience)

He has nothing to do with any sin, or wrong thinking, or evil.

God loves us and wants us to know Him.

We are his children and he is our heavenly father.

I am a sinner!

I need to confess my sins.

God forgives!

God will never forsake me!

The bible was given to us by God.

One day I went to my dad and explained to him that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart; as well as I could at my age. I wanted this special relationship with Jesus! My dad sat down with me and talked me through my decision. I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart! And he walked me through it step by step.

Then he prayed with me.

I was a child of God!

This was a huge thing for me. My family was the first and only people who had ever took the time to pray with me and introduce me to prayer. This was a whole new level of love for me!

The next Sunday that rolled around I forced myself to walk the aisle and tell my father that I wanted to be baptized and I was nervous. I didn’t like it when people stared at me and when you walk down the aisle during the invitation people tend to stare.

I don’t remember how many Sundays flew by before the Sunday that I was baptized on. I was so excited to be baptized! This day flew by and I wish it had lasted longer even if the water was freezing cold. However, it was worth every shivering moment.

John 1:12-13 NIV

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

I was apart of the family of God.

Growing up I’ve had all sorts of issues but I’d learned that God was worthy of placing my trust in.

I realized…

He was never going to give me up.

He was never going to leave me.

He would never stop loving me.

He is my forever family!

He is my Best friend!

1 John 3:1-2 NIV

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”

Over the years I’ve always wondered which of my birth parents I favor the most. Then I realized it doesn’t matter because I favor my heavenly father!

Genesis 1:27 NIV

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

I was made in his Image!

God even made it possible for me to look like my new parents. So much so that sometimes people don’t believe that I am adopted. This amuses me greatly!

Although I’ve had to go through lots of struggles to get to where I am today; these struggles have made me who I am and I wouldn’t trade this life that God has given me for anything in the world. God knew exactly what he was doing when he formed me in my mother’s womb.

I am the daughter of two loving parents. I am the daughter of a King!

I really am a princess!

Fun bible fact:

Both Moses and Esther were adopted.

Exodus 2:10 NIV

When the child grew older, she took him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. She named him Moses,saying, “I drew him out of the water.”

Esther 2:7 NIV

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.

This isn’t the end of my life’s story but it is the end of Adopted three Times.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Brit

 

 

Adopted Three Times (Part 2)

Haven’t read part one of Adopted Three Times? Read it here https://britkirkblog.wordpress.com/2014/02/05/adopted-three-times-part-1/

As I was shipped back and forth between my foster home, where I wanted to be, and my birth mother’s relative, where I didn’t want to be; I continued to hope and wish that things would get better for myself. This was not the life I wanted for myself; I wouldn’t have wished this life on my worst enemy(not that I had any enemies).I remember one time when I was supposed to go to my birth mother’s relative and I didn’t want to go; actually I never wanted to. There was never a moment when I was willing to go to with this relative.

Didn’t she notice? Maybe she just didn’t care.

However, this time was slightly different.

Mammy and the girls were planning an outing to the fair and I had never been to the fair. As a little girl this news excited me and I wanted to experience all of the adventures of the fair. But, it wasn’t meant to be because she came for me. I thought I could fix this problem and be able to attend the fair with mammy and the girls. So I came up with the best idea that I could.

I hid!

In the living room there was a little round table that sat next to a chair. There was a lamp and several nick knacks on this table. Best of all though there was a white flowing table cloth that reached the floor; this was a perfect hiding spot for someone my age. I though this was the perfect hiding spot and I would never be discover. Now, I know that no matter where I had hidden I would have still had no choice but to go with my birth mother’s relative; I would have had to come out sooner or later. In the end I didn’t get to go to the fair; I went with her.

Visits back and forth continued as normal; visits in which I came back worse than when I had left. (which was documented)

As DSS fought to take me fully away from this relative my social worker prepared me for court. I was supposed to testify against my birth mother’s relative and since I was so young I was given the opportunity to go to the court room and practice what I was going to say from the stand. My social worker worked with me and helped me to be comfortable with talking from the stand. She helped me not to be afraid to tell the judge exactly what had happened while I was in the relative’s custody.

Everything was perfect!

I knew exactly what I was going to say, I got to explore the court room and sit on the stand to see what it was like. I had all my words organized and ready to go well, as much as someone my age could organize words and remember them exactly the way I had rehearsed them.  I wasn’t scared. I was ready to face the court room and the judge.

Too good to be true, right?

I had practiced in an empty court room. Once people and judge were added to the court room it all changed. This was not how I had practiced; this was very different and scary. I froze on the stand and didn’t speak a word. All of my social worker’s efforts and work was all for nothing.

This is the part of the story where my circumstances begin to change for the better.

Mammy would go to a salon where she would have her nails worked on and while she was there she would talk about me. She told the woman about a little girl who was in need of a loving family. About how much I wanted to be adopted. As these appointments continued over a period of time she would sometimes bring me with her. I got to get to know this woman who worked in the salon and she would trim my long hair while I was there.

Now another woman (my future mom) would go to this same salon except she went to get her hair done. During one of these appointments the hairdresser began to talk about me. she informed the hair dresser that she would go home and tell her husband (my future dad) all about me. The hairdresser gave her the contact information for mammy so that they could possibly set up a meeting. She went home excited to tell her husband  all about this little browned headed little girl who was in need of a loving family.

A dream was had by my future dad. He dreamed about a little brown headed little girl; he never saw her face only her long brown locks. My future dad had always thought that if he adopted a daughter she would be blonde. This dream was about me and he hadn’t even met me or even heard about me yet. Until his wife came home from the salon one day and told him about a little girl in need of loving family. They decided they wanted to know more about me so they called Mammy and set up a meeting.

Disappointment struck!

Another family was already in the process of adopting me. The woman and her husband were disappointed but they knew that God was in control of the future.

August 1996

One day they received a phone call asking them if they would like to come over and meet me. Quickly they agreed and set up the day and time that they could both come. The family that had been in the process of adopting fell through. Actually there was something about them that Mammy did not like. So she quickly ended the process and hoped that the other couple was still interested. She knew there was something about them that would make them the perfect family for the little girl she had come to love. She would have adopted me but her husband and her were growing older and they knew I needed someone younger. I have always wondered what was wrong with the first family but, actually I never remember meeting them. I didn’t from a connection with them.

I was excited to meet the people that were coming to visit me. I was wearing a long white night dress since it was late and almost my bed time. They sat in their car and watched me stare out into the night; they were worried that I wouldn’t like them. When they worked up the courage to finally come through the door I took one look at them and ran away. This couple was new to me and so I went back to my movie and ignored them. When I finally came back out I insisted on give them both a picture of me. One of him and one for her. It never occurred to me that they were together and could share a picture.

I went on several outings with them over time as the began the adoption process. I hear it is a very long process. I’m not sure if that is every instance or just because mine was a difficult case. Anyways, one outing I remember was the Krystal’s outing.  They took me to Krystal’s, I had never been before and it is now one of my favorite places to eat. After we ate we went to the park and I played on the playground; they ever played with me. This day was one of the best days of my life; I had so much fun and felt so loved.

After many outings they applied to become my foster parents. This was so I could spend the night with them. It came just in time too! Mammy had cancer and Grand Daddy Bo was going to have surgery. It was best that I spend some nights with them. While living in the same house I was able to get to know them better and it was like having a real family. One day when we were heading out to go somewhere I remember sitting in the backseat of their mustang and telling them that I wanted them to be my mom and dad.

More court sessions were in our future and this was because my birth mother’s relative wouldn’t give me up. We struggled for a long time with this until the judge finally said enough and  cut off any claim that she may have had on me.

June 9, 1999 ( My second adoption)

This was the day my adoption was finalized; after so many struggles and obstacles I was finally going to be their daughter . This was the very best day of my life and I wasn’t scared to face the judge this time! I got to change my name so I dropped the middle name of Nirvana and chose the middle name of Elizabeth. I Also dropped my last name  and took on their last name. Before leaving the court room I got to take a picture in the judge’s chair and the officer in the back told my new mom and dad to never spank me and to take me to McDonalds.

I finally had a family who loved me but, this story isn’t over yet.

More to come soon.

Love,

Brit

Adopted Three times (Part 1)

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I find it best to begin most stories at the beginning. Well, unless your story is an epic and picks up somewhere in the middle. However, since I’m not going to be invoking a muse, taking any sort of journey to the underworld or battling it out with some sort of foe; I’ll begin at the beginning

Once Upon A Time… Just Kidding!

I was born on August 24, 1991 early in the morning and I was named Brittany Nirvana Usury. Still to this day I wonder why the middle name Nirvana.

Seriously Nirvana!?

There is a band called Nirvana and Nirvana means a place or state characterized by freedom from or oblivion to pain, worry, and the external world. So, I was either named after the band or the definition which would make no sense to me. I personally would love to believe that it was neither of those options but, rather that my birth mother just liked the word Nirvana.

I’m not sure exactly how long my birth mother kept me until she gave me away, to one of her relatives. This relative had a few sons and willingly adopted me into her family. This was the very first time I was adopted. Later on in life I learned that my birth father moved in with my birth mother’s relative and began to have a relationship with her. I never knew that he was my birth father while he was there and never learned he was until a couple of years ago.

I believe that he never wanted me to know this little tidbit.

My birth father didn’t stick around very long; he left me behind when he left and I probably never even noticed that he was gone. The situation he left me in is what hurts the most. What he left me in was a situation that involved several different types of abuse (Not going to give details but, if you are able to think it it probably happened). If my birth father had cared for me in the slightest bit he would have taken me with him when he left but he didn’t; he left me behind to be abused knowing that I was his daughter.

Things changed for me the day my leg was broken.

I had been jumping on a sofa (so I was told) and my leg got stuck in the spot where the cushion meets the arm of the sofa; I fell and broke my leg. I was taken to the hospital and got my leg all checked out. While I was at the hospital the nurses and doctor noticed that something wasn’t quiet right.

There were signs of abuse. 

DSS was contacted and I was once again at a hospital to be examined for an entirely different reason than my broken leg. Later I was taken to Helping Hands while they searched for a foster home for me. A woman I would later refer to as Mammy was contacted with the hope that she would take me in. She worked with and housed older girls; helping them to get back on their feet and finding them jobs. I was younger than she normally took in but, she agreed and came to pick me up from Helping Hands.

I was three years old when I went to live mammy and her husband (I called him grand daddy Bo). They gave me the love I had been longing for and treated me as if I was family. I felt as if they were my very own grandparents and I loved them very much. However, no matter how much I wanted to wedge myself into mammy and grand daddy Bo’s lives I couldn’t escape my Birth Mother’s relative. I was forced to go and stay with her and her sons every now and then. It never mattered if I didn’t want to go I had no choice. I was forced to go back and forth like a child stuck in a family whose parents were divorced. I could only hope and wish that things would get better!

I’ve decided to stop my tale here for now.

I pondered how to type this out for a while and decided that I Should post it in parts. I wanted to be able to put plenty of  thought into each part and not feel rushed.

More to come soon

Love,

Brit

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