Haven’t read part one of Adopted Three Times? Read it here https://britkirkblog.wordpress.com/2014/02/05/adopted-three-times-part-1/
As I was shipped back and forth between my foster home, where I wanted to be, and my birth mother’s relative, where I didn’t want to be; I continued to hope and wish that things would get better for myself. This was not the life I wanted for myself; I wouldn’t have wished this life on my worst enemy(not that I had any enemies).I remember one time when I was supposed to go to my birth mother’s relative and I didn’t want to go; actually I never wanted to. There was never a moment when I was willing to go to with this relative.
Didn’t she notice? Maybe she just didn’t care.
However, this time was slightly different.
Mammy and the girls were planning an outing to the fair and I had never been to the fair. As a little girl this news excited me and I wanted to experience all of the adventures of the fair. But, it wasn’t meant to be because she came for me. I thought I could fix this problem and be able to attend the fair with mammy and the girls. So I came up with the best idea that I could.
In the living room there was a little round table that sat next to a chair. There was a lamp and several nick knacks on this table. Best of all though there was a white flowing table cloth that reached the floor; this was a perfect hiding spot for someone my age. I though this was the perfect hiding spot and I would never be discover. Now, I know that no matter where I had hidden I would have still had no choice but to go with my birth mother’s relative; I would have had to come out sooner or later. In the end I didn’t get to go to the fair; I went with her.
Visits back and forth continued as normal; visits in which I came back worse than when I had left. (which was documented)
As DSS fought to take me fully away from this relative my social worker prepared me for court. I was supposed to testify against my birth mother’s relative and since I was so young I was given the opportunity to go to the court room and practice what I was going to say from the stand. My social worker worked with me and helped me to be comfortable with talking from the stand. She helped me not to be afraid to tell the judge exactly what had happened while I was in the relative’s custody.
Everything was perfect!
I knew exactly what I was going to say, I got to explore the court room and sit on the stand to see what it was like. I had all my words organized and ready to go well, as much as someone my age could organize words and remember them exactly the way I had rehearsed them. I wasn’t scared. I was ready to face the court room and the judge.
Too good to be true, right?
I had practiced in an empty court room. Once people and judge were added to the court room it all changed. This was not how I had practiced; this was very different and scary. I froze on the stand and didn’t speak a word. All of my social worker’s efforts and work was all for nothing.
This is the part of the story where my circumstances begin to change for the better.
Mammy would go to a salon where she would have her nails worked on and while she was there she would talk about me. She told the woman about a little girl who was in need of a loving family. About how much I wanted to be adopted. As these appointments continued over a period of time she would sometimes bring me with her. I got to get to know this woman who worked in the salon and she would trim my long hair while I was there.
Now another woman (my future mom) would go to this same salon except she went to get her hair done. During one of these appointments the hairdresser began to talk about me. she informed the hair dresser that she would go home and tell her husband (my future dad) all about me. The hairdresser gave her the contact information for mammy so that they could possibly set up a meeting. She went home excited to tell her husband all about this little browned headed little girl who was in need of a loving family.
A dream was had by my future dad. He dreamed about a little brown headed little girl; he never saw her face only her long brown locks. My future dad had always thought that if he adopted a daughter she would be blonde. This dream was about me and he hadn’t even met me or even heard about me yet. Until his wife came home from the salon one day and told him about a little girl in need of loving family. They decided they wanted to know more about me so they called Mammy and set up a meeting.
Another family was already in the process of adopting me. The woman and her husband were disappointed but they knew that God was in control of the future.
One day they received a phone call asking them if they would like to come over and meet me. Quickly they agreed and set up the day and time that they could both come. The family that had been in the process of adopting fell through. Actually there was something about them that Mammy did not like. So she quickly ended the process and hoped that the other couple was still interested. She knew there was something about them that would make them the perfect family for the little girl she had come to love. She would have adopted me but her husband and her were growing older and they knew I needed someone younger. I have always wondered what was wrong with the first family but, actually I never remember meeting them. I didn’t from a connection with them.
I was excited to meet the people that were coming to visit me. I was wearing a long white night dress since it was late and almost my bed time. They sat in their car and watched me stare out into the night; they were worried that I wouldn’t like them. When they worked up the courage to finally come through the door I took one look at them and ran away. This couple was new to me and so I went back to my movie and ignored them. When I finally came back out I insisted on give them both a picture of me. One of him and one for her. It never occurred to me that they were together and could share a picture.
I went on several outings with them over time as the began the adoption process. I hear it is a very long process. I’m not sure if that is every instance or just because mine was a difficult case. Anyways, one outing I remember was the Krystal’s outing. They took me to Krystal’s, I had never been before and it is now one of my favorite places to eat. After we ate we went to the park and I played on the playground; they ever played with me. This day was one of the best days of my life; I had so much fun and felt so loved.
After many outings they applied to become my foster parents. This was so I could spend the night with them. It came just in time too! Mammy had cancer and Grand Daddy Bo was going to have surgery. It was best that I spend some nights with them. While living in the same house I was able to get to know them better and it was like having a real family. One day when we were heading out to go somewhere I remember sitting in the backseat of their mustang and telling them that I wanted them to be my mom and dad.
More court sessions were in our future and this was because my birth mother’s relative wouldn’t give me up. We struggled for a long time with this until the judge finally said enough and cut off any claim that she may have had on me.
June 9, 1999 ( My second adoption)
This was the day my adoption was finalized; after so many struggles and obstacles I was finally going to be their daughter . This was the very best day of my life and I wasn’t scared to face the judge this time! I got to change my name so I dropped the middle name of Nirvana and chose the middle name of Elizabeth. I Also dropped my last name and took on their last name. Before leaving the court room I got to take a picture in the judge’s chair and the officer in the back told my new mom and dad to never spank me and to take me to McDonalds.
I finally had a family who loved me but, this story isn’t over yet.
More to come soon.